People from the very young to the very old generally do not want to be without a companion, friend, romance, partner, or spouse. There are many reasons why being alone seems to never go away, but most people find that being alone happens and happens often. Without going into why being alone happens, and happens to some folks over and over, I will go along with the conclusion by most people that being alone “sucks”.
To most folks, finding someone to share life with is a frightening prospect. So much can and does go wrong that most of us think the process instead of finding Mr. or Ms. Right they will end up finding Mr. Ms. Wrong! Some keep on trying all the “wrongs” until “right” comes along. The tragedy is that children happen, diseases happen, addictions happen and abuse results. The longer the chase for “right” continues the less likely that when “right” comes you are not qualified or that you have become “wrong” yourself for that person. The baggage produced through the hunt for “right” produces in itself everything that you yourself would have rejected as “wrong” early in the process…..So…..
You settle for “wrong” thinking that perhaps you can change the other person to be “right” or that you can change to be “right” for the other person. Thus the ring of searching only creates more aloneness resulting in extreme unhappiness. Your expectations have plummeted into the torture of reality you find yourself in……So…
You acquire habits that allow escape from this reality you find yourself in. You eat everything in sight and feel depressed and sleep or watch mindless TV or cruise the Internet and all the while eat more stuff. You grow several hundred pounds heavier and evolve into a mess of health issues…..So…..
You lower yourself into the pit of habits that destroy you completely; alcohol, tobacco, drugs, leading to a dependent lifestyle, bottom feeding on society.
You hate yourself!
You wonder how God could have left you with the scars, depression, financial ruin, bad health and alone.
OK, OK, maybe that is too dramatic of a path, but I have seen a great many people in all levels of this slippery slope of self-destruction.
Maybe you are nowhere near this scenario of life. Certainly you feel in-charge of your future. You might be a member in good standing at your church and believe that being a Christian has special meaning to you. You probably believe that somewhere out there is another chance perfect partner that God wants you to couple with……So…..
You join Christian Singles, or any number of 500 or so dating services. Soon you are presented with the potential of Mr. or MS. “Right”……Only to find out that you got Mr. Ms. “Wrong” again……so…..
So you make the choice to take your chances with”wrong, again”!
“I am so lonely. Why can’t I meet someone (hopefully of my religion) who I can share my life with and they would love me for who I am? Why won’t God help me find my special significant other, to love and be normal with? Maybe a church single group…..no that doesn’t work…..only weird losers there…..hey, I can’t live like this anymore! I’m going to the club for a burger and a brew……who knows?
Wow! That was a fun conversation….what energy! I know I felt something when I met her. We seem to have so much in common. I love outdoors…..she loves outdoors. I love sports…..she loves sports. She looks pretty good and has deep eyes…….I look pretty good and can make exciting conversation. She likes me……I like her. She is even of the same religion…..”Bartender, another round over here”.
"You intoxicate me with your wit and charm". "You cause me to explore the depths of 'possibilities' that I had all but given up on ever having". "My heart pounds harder when you touch me". "Your kiss ignites deep forgotten wells of passion inside me".
I dream again on the edge of fantasies past. Could it be my dreams are about to be realized? Until you came along, I thought the brokenness in my life had served to cut me off from ever knowing if I could ever find love.
Love? Beautiful together oneness, love. The two of us flowing like the ocean tide in and out, with each surge leaving some of each mixed with the other, sculpting an image as old as time; at first a “spirit child”, then maybe……flesh of our season together”.
From Thom’s new book “When Dreams Crash”.